Science and Love Everything LGBTQ+ Families Need to Know About IVF

Allie and Sam are two moms. Mommy and Other Mommy. One carried the couple''s twin boys, who are genetically related to the other—a cute little story of teamwork with a happy ending. But it was so much more than that. When they decided to grow their family, they naively went into things thinking they’d have a baby nine months later. Easy. Their conception journey began with nothing but hope. Planning pregnancy announcements. Picking names. (Picking sperm!) Soon, that turned into the harsh realization that it would take several years, thousands of dollars, and so much heartbreak to even get close to a baby. As a same-sex couple, Allie and Sam faced barriers from day one. If it wasn’t constant heteronormativity, it was a couple of thousand dollars in the trash, next to another negative pregnancy test—just to rub it in a little more. It was jealousy of friends who were on baby one, then baby two, before they could even get in for another try at the fertility clinic. Who had sperm readily available at home. Who had babies for free. It took three years, three IUIs, one home insemination, one round of IVF, two losses, four embryo transfers, $50,000, and ultimately, a whole lot of teamwork. And now they get to watch their twins grow and learn, as Mommy and Other Mommy. With two moms, their family looks a little different to a lot of people. That’s why it’s important to share Sam and Allie''s journey: to help normalize all types of families, and to hopefully make people think twice before they ask Who’s the mom?